Wednesday, September 9, 2015

On Living In The Future

I have a bucket list. This list, currently containing 28 items, was created when I was 16 years old and now lives in a Word document on my laptop. At least once a year I open the list, put a strike through the things I've completed, and document the date that it was completed.

My bucket list items are mostly life-changing events including buying my first home, having children, and graduating university. Right now, I have 8 items crossed off.

The problem with this list is that I find myself always looking for the next thing to cross off. On one hand, it keeps me motivated to work towards my goals and forces me to see the bigger picture. On the other hand, it can cause me to constantly be "living in the future" and never be satisfied with the progress I've made. I'm really bad at living in the now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% happy in my life right now. To be honest, I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. Ever since I was a teenager, I had a life plan and everything in that plan has happened (or will be happening), well ahead of my "schedule".

The problem is that I tend to forget about all of these amazing things and think/talk about how much better things will be when the next thing happens. The truth is that things are great right now. If I sit and think about my life at this exact moment in time, I can't think of much that's wrong with it. But I can think of a thousand things that would be it better.

I'm working on getting past this. Now that Chris and I are done having children and own a home, I feel a sense of relief. I don't have to worry about the timing and logistics of another baby or be concerned about when and where to buy a house.

I feel for the first time in a long time, that I can look around and be happy right in this second. It is definitely a work in progress, but I'm getting there.

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